Kinky sex involves the use of duck feathers. Perverted sex involves the whole duck.

Life is like a dogsled race. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.

There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.

I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married.

Money doesn't grow on trees, and if it did somebody else would own the orchard.

The only way that I could figure they could improve upon Coca-Cola, one of life's most delightful elixirs, which studies prove will heal the sick and occasionally raise the dead, is to put bourbon in it.

Sex hasn't been the same since women started enjoying it.