There's no such thing as being too Southern.

Yankees don't understand that the Southern way of talking is a language of nuance. What we can do in the South is we can take a word and change it just a little bit and make it mean something altogether different.

Baptists never make love standing up. They're afraid someone might see them and think they're dancing.

Today's sensitive male has learned to share in open frank discussions about relationships like, "Where the hell did you get a crazy idea like that? You been reading Redbook again?"

On a New York subway you get fined for spitting, but you can throw up for nothing.

I'd much rather sit next to a smoker in a restaurant than a nose-blower.

If soccer was an American soft drink, it would be Diet Pepsi