I get letters from people who say, 'What have you got against women?' What could I possibly have against women? I've married three of them.
If you are not the lead dog, your scenery never changes.
Spring time is the land awakening.
Baptists never make love standing up. They're afraid someone might see them and think they're dancing.
Elvis is dead and I don't feel so good for myself.
The game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems, block your fears, and score your points when you get the opportunity.