When My Love Returns from the Ladies Room, Will I Be Too Old to Care?

It's better to have died a small child than to be a politician who gets caught in a scandal during a slow news month.

Kinky sex involves the use of duck feathers. Perverted sex involves the whole duck.

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house.

I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married.

Sex hasn't been the same since women started enjoying it.

The only way that I could figure they could improve upon Coca-Cola, one of life's most delightful elixirs, which studies prove will heal the sick and occasionally raise the dead, is to put bourbon in it.