Baptists never make love standing up. They're afraid someone might see them and think they're dancing.
I'd much rather sit next to a smoker in a restaurant than a nose-blower.
Today's sensitive male has learned to share in open frank discussions about relationships like, "Where the hell did you get a crazy idea like that? You been reading Redbook again?"
Kinky sex involves the use of duck feathers. Perverted sex involves the whole duck.
If soccer was an American soft drink, it would be Diet Pepsi
Yankees don't understand that the Southern way of talking is a language of nuance. What we can do in the South is we can take a word and change it just a little bit and make it mean something altogether different.