In the south there's a difference between 'Naked' and 'Nekkid.' 'Naked' means you don't have any clothes on. 'Nekkid' means you don't have any clothes on and you're up to somethin'.

Yankees don't understand that the Southern way of talking is a language of nuance. What we can do in the South is we can take a word and change it just a little bit and make it mean something altogether different.

It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.

There is something wrong when you wait in line thirty minutes to get a hamburger that was cooked for ninety seconds an hour ago.

It's better to have died a small child than to be a politician who gets caught in a scandal during a slow news month.

I get letters from people who say, 'What have you got against women?' What could I possibly have against women? I've married three of them.

Life is like a dogsled race. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.