Exercise is for people who can't handle drugs or alcohol.
Thank God kids never mean well
I try to be cynical, but it's so hard to keep up.
Nobody is here without a reason. I always had a different sensibility. I like a huge range of comedy - from broad and farcical, the most sensitive, the most understated - but I always wanted my comedy to be more embracing of the species rather than debasing of it.
If trying harder doesn't work, try softer.
There's nothing sadder than getting to the end of your life and saying, 'I didn't do it right'.