Did you know, in the entire universe, we are the only intelligent life forms thought to have a Miss Universe contest?

Does your mind feel more and more like teflon? Nothing sticks to it?

Thank God kids never mean well

I try to be cynical, but it's so hard to keep up.

Infinity is just time on an ego trip.

Truth is, I've always been selling out. The difference is that in the past, I looked like I had integrity because there were no buyers.

We are people with lives, not consumers with lifestyles.