Did you know, in the entire universe, we are the only intelligent life forms thought to have a Miss Universe contest?

When I've had a meltdown, people will say to me, "Well, you failed to keep your sense of humor."

There's nothing sadder than getting to the end of your life and saying, 'I didn't do it right'.

Don't be afraid of missing opportunities. Behind every failure is an opportunity somebody wishes they had missed.

There's so much plastic in this culture that vinyl leopard skin is becoming an endangered synthetic.

When we talk to god, it's prayer. When god talks to us, it's schizophrenia.

No matter how cynical you become, it's never enough to keep up.