Who's got two thumbs, speaks limited French and hasn't cried once today? This moi.
I don't need anyone. Because I can do every single thing that a person in a relationship can. Everything. Even zip up my own dress. You know, there are some things that are actually harder to do with two people. Such as monologues.
Now I'm heading home for a nooner, which is what I call having pancakes for lunch.
My mom used to send me articles about how older virgins are considered good luck in Mexico.
If you're ordering me an edible arrangement to say thanks, I'd prefer a meat one.
OK, here's a little bedroom tip: Put a bag of popcorn in the microwave beforehand. That way when you're done, you have a treat.