I'd like to name my kid a whole phrase. You know, something like Ladies and Gentlemen. That'll be a cool name for a kid. This is my son, Ladies and Gentlemen! Then, when he gets out of hand, I get to go, Ladies and Gentlemen, please!

I do actually use a boxing trainer when I train for stand-up.

Sorry - Americans only buy things that come from suffering. They just enjoy it more when they know someone's getting hurt.

I've met a lot of people who've lost their jobs and they still have a sense of humor.

It's just a big excuse to say awful things.

It's more fun to experience things when you don't know what's going to happen.

The part that's difficult is being single, at 41, after 10 years of marriage and two kids. That's like having a bunch of money in a currency of a country that doesn't exist anymore.