It's more fun to experience things when you don't know what's going to happen.

My kids used to love math. Now it makes them cry. Thanks standardized testing and common core!

I've always got the road. Stand-up makes you so autonomous and self-sufficient that it really helps with that part of show business.

I do feel a lot of times like I'm out of my league with my kids in terms of what my responsibility is.

I spend enough time onscreen looking hangdog and depressed.

I found out that I'm a pretty bad father. I make a lot of mistakes and I don't know what I'm doing. But my kids love me. Go figure.

When I was first divorced, I started dating younger women, and it was really exciting. But after a while I was like, 'This is just dumb.'