It's more fun to experience things when you don't know what's going to happen.

I always tell my kids to cut a sandwich in half right when you get it, and the first thought you should have is somebody else. You only ever need half a burger.

I was an awkward kid.

Every day starts, my eyes open and I reload the program of misery. I open my eyes, remember who I am, what I'm like, and I just go, 'Ugh'.

Comedians and Feminists... are natural enemies, because stereotypically-speaking, feminists can't take a joke and... comedians can't take criticism.

Everything is amazing and nobody is happy

To me, it's very exhilarating when somebody else does a great thing, and it's not me.