Kids are like buckets of disease that live in your house.

Most people are dead. Did you know that? It's true, out of all the people that ever were, almost all of them are dead.

If I owned a network, I would never let a guy just put people on without telling me who they are.

I killed my Facebook page years ago because time clicking around is just dead time. Your brain isn't resting and it isn't doing. I think people have to get their heads around this thing. All this unmitigated input is hurting folks.

My ex-wife, she really didn't like the material that I did. And that's something I regret, that I wasn't more careful about making sure that she was O.K. with it. I just sort of didn't ask. So that's how that goes.

I've had soccer moms come up and tell me they can relate when I say that I want to throw my baby in the trash.

Being popular with an audience is a very rickety ladder to be on.