Kids are like buckets of disease that live in your house.

You know when you see a mother someplace just melting down on her kid? She's like, 'Shut up, I hate you, you're ugly!'... Any parents there are thinking, 'What did that shitty kid do to that poor woman? That poor woman. I wish I could help.'

If you do something and people think you're stupid, just go for crazy. You get more respect that way because nobody likes stupid people.

Most people are dead. Did you know that? It's true, out of all the people that ever were, almost all of them are dead.

People get successful and they start saying, 'Well of course I am! I was chosen! I'm special!' No, you're not.

I do feel a lot of times like I'm out of my league with my kids in terms of what my responsibility is.

I found out that I'm a pretty bad father. I make a lot of mistakes and I don't know what I'm doing. But my kids love me. Go figure.