How do women still go out with guys, when you consider the fact that there is no greater threat to women than men? We're the number one threat to women. Globally and historically, we're the number one cause of injury and mayhem to women... You know what our number one threat is? Heart disease.

Kids are like buckets of disease that live in your house.

Talking is always positive. That's why I talk too much.

I could never sit down and write jokes.

I've always loved boxing. It's something I've always been extremely excited about.

Life is full of horrible mistakes.

You could drive a rental car until you don't want it. Just get out of it while it's moving and just walk away. No, I don't feel like being in that car any longer. Just call Hertz. Hi, your car is drifting into the intersection of 28th and Broadway, if you're interested. It's now your problem.