I'm not motivated to entertain people through Twitter, so just by having Twitter and not saying anything, I make people mad.

I would rather be with my kids than anybody else.

Here's how my brain works: It's stupidity, followed by self-hatred, and then further analysis.

Television for a child creates such a high bar of stimulus that nothing else competes. A beautiful day is absolute crap to a kid who watches tv.

When I was a kid there was a show called 'Holmes & Yo-Yo' about a robot cop. I LOVED that show and I think it only lasted like three episodes.

...Then I got divorced and everything changed, and I became a father in a whole new way and found a whole new set of difficulties.

Dating is horrible, it's awful. I don't get it. It's like you're standing there: 'Hi. Do you want to have sex and later wish you hadn't?' It's horrible. And it's awkward at 42 because I don't have the body or the drive. I just sit in the car and hope somebody gets in.