My kids used to love math. Now it makes them cry. Thanks standardized testing and common core!

My ex-wife, she really didn't like the material that I did. And that's something I regret, that I wasn't more careful about making sure that she was O.K. with it. I just sort of didn't ask. So that's how that goes.

Life isn't something you possess. It's something you take part in, and you witness.

There's no such thing as a cheap laugh.

When people are getting richer and richer but they're not actually producing anything, it can't end well.

Every year white people add 100 years to how long ago slavery was. I've heard educated white people say, 'slavery was 400 years ago.' No it very wasn't. It was 140 years ago...that's two 70-year-old ladies living and dying back to back. That's how recently you could buy a guy.

If the whole country had to have the same conversation that was safe for everybody, it would be a pretty awful place to live. There wouldn't be a conversation.