My kids used to love math. Now it makes them cry. Thanks standardized testing and common core!

I've always loved boxing. It's something I've always been extremely excited about.

Someday, one of your friends is gonna get divorced, it's gonna happen, and they're gonna tell you. Don't go, 'ohhhh I'm sorry.' That's a stupid thing to say. First of all you're making 'em feel bad for being really happy, which isn't fair. And second of all: divorce is always good news. I know that sounds weird, but it's true, because no good marriage has ever ended in divorce. It's really that simple.

I like being full, every day, with stuff that I have to do.

There's people that say “It's not fair You have all that stuff.” I wasn't born with it. It was a horrible process to get to this. It took me my whole life. If you're new at this- and by “new at it.” I mean 15 years in, or even 20- you're just starting to grow traction. Young musicians believe they should be able to throw a band together and be famous, and anything that's in their way is unfair and evil. What are you, in your 20s, you picked up a guitar? Give it a minute.

I've started to kind of hate people, and it's not because I have anything against them. It's just, I enjoy it. It's recreation.

I don't have a gun, but if I did, I would shoot a baby deer in the mouth and feel nothing.