I do feel a lot of times like I'm out of my league with my kids in terms of what my responsibility is.

To me, it's very exhilarating when somebody else does a great thing, and it's not me.

You know when you see a mother someplace just melting down on her kid? She's like, 'Shut up, I hate you, you're ugly!'... Any parents there are thinking, 'What did that shitty kid do to that poor woman? That poor woman. I wish I could help.'

Here's how my brain works: It's stupidity, followed by self-hatred, and then further analysis.

One time I was at a swimming pool with my kids, a public pool. I had my daughter, my six year old, on my arm like this. She was like clamped on, and she's kicking. ... And then she got off and another random child just clamped on. It's like a rat. "Get off of me." "But I love you." "I don't know you, kid."

When I got divorced, I thought 'Well, there goes my act.'

There's no real preparing at home for stand-up. You just go and you just do it.