America's a family. We all yell at each other. It all works out.

When you have bacon in your mouth, it doesn't matter who's president.

Very few American parents give a crap about how they raise their kids. They put minimal effort into it. Who told you it's a good idea to buy a developing mind a video game?

I know I'm getting old because there will be times when I'm not even doing anything and I'll think, 'I need to go wipe my ass right now.'

I think I'm past any window where I'm suddenly going to become surprisingly ripped so that people go, 'Oh, my God, what happened to you?'

Everything that people say is testable.

I don't think it makes any sense to try to get anyone to not talk.