Everything that people say is testable.

I've always loved boxing. It's something I've always been extremely excited about.

There's nowhere I won't go. As long as it's horribly, horribly true and/or wrong.

Don't text or twitter during the show. Just live your life. Don't keep telling people what you're doing. Just, because also - also - it lights up your big dumb face.

You can't cancel my stand-up tours. It's impossible. There's too many separate bosses. There is no 'bosses.'

When I see two guys kissing, I'm like, how come I can't kiss one of those guys? They look like they're having a good time.

I think you have to try and fail, because failure gets you closer to what you're good at.