You can't cancel my stand-up tours. It's impossible. There's too many separate bosses. There is no 'bosses.'

I spend enough time onscreen looking hangdog and depressed.

I was raised by a hard-working single mother, so my first role model was a woman. My only caretaker was a woman, and I have three sisters, so my community was girls. I have two girls, and my dog is a girl. My dead dog was a girl. I don't know. I guess I've always keyed in on that perspective.

I love being married. It's great. But I hate arguing. I hate fighting. You know what I do now? When we get in an argument, I just take her side against me. It's just easier; it goes quicker. She's like, "What's wrong with you?" And I'm like, "I know! Damn it! Argh!"

The only road to doing good shows, is doing bad shows.

I don't know if you've ever had just five dollars in the bank, but I've found that if that's all you have, you can't get it out.

Apple embodies a lot of what have been defined as feminine traits: an emphasis on intuitive design, intellect, a strong sense of creativity, and that striving to always make the greatest version of something.