Sometimes I just want to tell a story regardless of whether it fits what the show is saying. I’ve been in a lot of writing rooms where somebody says an idea and everyone’s dying, like laughing so they’re delirious. It’s like a black hole in a good way, everything starts to fall into it, you know what I mean.

I've started to kind of hate people, and it's not because I have anything against them. It's just, I enjoy it. It's recreation.

A household name is like ketchup. Everybody wants ketchup. Ketchup doesn't hurt anybody.

Feeling unsure and lost is part of your path. Don't avoid it. See what those feelings are showing you and use it.

There's been a lot of simple vilification of right-wing people. It's really easy to say, 'Well, you're Christian, you're anti-this and that, and I hate you.' But to me, it's more interesting to say, 'What is this person like and how do they really think?'

How do women still go out with guys, when you consider the fact that there is no greater threat to women than men? We're the number one threat to women. Globally and historically, we're the number one cause of injury and mayhem to women... You know what our number one threat is? Heart disease.

You would never do stand-up without an audience. I mean, no one would even consider it. It's like they're the instrument you're playing.