I find it hard to get enthusiastic about hotels because, as a touring comic, I spend a lot of time in them.

If you want something Scottish, go get yourself a kilt.

If Pac-Man had affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in dark rooms, munching pills and listening to repetitive electronic music.

Never Google yourself. Seriously, don't!

I have an addictive personality. Boarding school merely sent me more quickly on the downward spiral that dominated my childhood.

I realised that to compare your insides with other people's outsides leads to unhappiness.

I find myself by default an atheist but fairly unhappily so. It would be bloody marvelous if there was a god.