If you go on stage with an agenda, you have to accept not everyone's going to agree with it.

The basic function of a comic is stand-up because it's so straightforward and simple. If the audience don't laugh, you didn't do your job. I've had some audiences where I didn't care if they laughed or not because they were either too drunk or stupid.

No one wants life to end. It was bad enough when my last tour came to an end.

My purist comedy friends accuse me of being a Jack of all trades and master of none.

Britain is obsessed with political correctness.

I am not racked with self-loathing. Some issues of guilt and shame, but I'm a pretty good guy.

I think Ross Noble is the only person that I've seen really storm a stand-up slot at a festival, and that was when he led 3,000 people on a conga out of the tent and across the entire site to a vegetarian food truck.