Catholicism has the clerical equivalent to a nut allergy - even a small exposure to change, and the whole thing will go into anaphylactic shock.

I have an addictive personality. Boarding school merely sent me more quickly on the downward spiral that dominated my childhood.

I am not racked with self-loathing. Some issues of guilt and shame, but I'm a pretty good guy.

If you want something Scottish, go get yourself a kilt.

And much as I enjoy writing and creating stuff, I don't enjoy it so much that I am willing to give up any time that could otherwise be spent performing.

I'm best known as a stand-up comedian, but I'm a good actor in the right role.

Never Google yourself. Seriously, don't!