Catholicism has the clerical equivalent to a nut allergy - even a small exposure to change, and the whole thing will go into anaphylactic shock.

Jews, I know you're God's chosen people and the rest of us are just 'whatever', but when Israel behaves like a violent, psychopathic bully and someone mentions it, that doesn't make them anti-Semitic.

Offence is important; that's how you know you care about things. Imagine a life where you're not offended. So dull.

I have an addictive personality. Boarding school merely sent me more quickly on the downward spiral that dominated my childhood.

I'm more pompous and self-assured and determined that if - you know - if the truth can be told so as to be understood, it will be believed.

If you go on stage with an agenda, you have to accept not everyone's going to agree with it.

I became hugely overweight and then hated myself because it was a form of self-abuse, something over which I had no control. I think the thing compulsive over-eaters want to achieve is that stuffed-full Christmas afternoon feeling.