A Consultant is a guy who knows 125 different ways to make love, but who doesn't know any women.
I can't think of a performer who is better on television than in person.
The Republicans have a new healthcare proposal: Just say NO to illness!
If you call your opponent a politician, it's grounds for libel.
If the audience doesn't like it, usually they're just silent. But they've never all walked out at once.
People are not in a good mood when any politician's face appears on television.