Mark Russell Quotes

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The thing that you're faulted on today is not that you are too tough, or not that you aren't careful. It's that you might have been too soft. People want that red meat now because you have to keep up with the mood and the mood today is harsh. It really is.

Mark Russell

A Consultant is a guy who knows 125 different ways to make love, but who doesn't know any women.

Mark Russell

The Republicans have a new healthcare proposal: Just say NO to illness!

Mark Russell

Being an Olympian is the ultimate test of one's sporting ability.

Mark Russell

Believe me when I say that Bill Clinton's second term will be good for business. My business.

Mark Russell

People are not in a good mood when any politician's face appears on television.

Mark Russell

The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage.

Mark Russell

The way money goes so fast these days, they should paint racing stripes on it.

Mark Russell

Humor is very very risky, particularly for a candidate, unless he's been in so long that it just doesn't matter, and he's not running for president. But it's just that people are so sensitive and so touchy, and you're just going to upset somebody without ever realizing it.

Mark Russell

I can't think of a performer who is better on television than in person.

Mark Russell

If the audience doesn't like it, usually they're just silent. But they've never all walked out at once.

Mark Russell

You've got the brain-washed, that's the Democrats, and the brain-dead, that's the Republicans!

Mark Russell

Young people, take heart: the older you get, the fewer commandments you will have the strength to break.

Mark Russell

I do jokes about what's funny, and both sides are funny.

Mark Russell

You know when Jerry Ford gets the best joke, you know you're in trouble.

Mark Russell

You know that a given in life in human nature, is that at a sporting event, a baseball game, a football game, you never introduce a politician, is because he'll be booed. I don't care if he's the most beloved person in the world, its part of the game.

Mark Russell

If you call your opponent a politician, it's grounds for libel.

Mark Russell

I squirm when I see athletes praying before a game. Don't they realize that if God took sports seriously he never would have created George Steinbrenner.

Mark Russell
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