People are not in a good mood when any politician's face appears on television.

The way money goes so fast these days, they should paint racing stripes on it.

If the audience doesn't like it, usually they're just silent. But they've never all walked out at once.

If you call your opponent a politician, it's grounds for libel.

Believe me when I say that Bill Clinton's second term will be good for business. My business.

You've got the brain-washed, that's the Democrats, and the brain-dead, that's the Republicans!

I do jokes about what's funny, and both sides are funny.