Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.

Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever.

It's better to be an optimist who is sometimes wrong than a pessimist who is always right

Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot. BY ORDER OF THE AUTHOR per G.G., CHIEF OF ORDNANCE

Now I can only pray that there may be a God -- and a heaven -- or something better.

Saturday morning was come, and all the summer world was bright and fresh, and brimming with life. There was a song in every heart; and if the heart was young, the music issued at the lips. There was cheer in every face and a spring in every step. The locust-trees were in bloom, and the fragrance of the blossoms filled the air. Cardiff Hill, beyond the village and above, it was green with vegetation, and it lay just far enough away to seem a Delectable Land, dreamy, reposeful, and inviting.

Some people get an education without going to college. The rest get it after they get out.