the size of a misfortune is not determinable by an outsider’s measurement of it but only by the measurements applied to it by the person specially affected by it.

One should never use exclamation points in writing. It is like laughing at your own joke.

All schools, all colleges have two great functions: to confer, and to conceal valuable knowledge.

When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.

The slowness of one section of the world about adopting the valuable ideas of another section of it is a curious thing and unaccountable.

The average man is what his environment and his superstitions have made him; and their function is to make him an ass. He can't add up three or four new circumstances together and perceive what they mean; it is beyond him. He is not capable of observing for himself; he has to get everything at second-hand. If what are miscalled the lower animals were as silly as man is, they would all perish from the earth in a year.

The easy part of being an artist is figuring out the message that everyone else is ready to hear. The hard part is waiting for the proper lull to make the announcement.