the size of a misfortune is not determinable by an outsider’s measurement of it but only by the measurements applied to it by the person specially affected by it.

Sufficient unto the day is one baby. As long as you are in your right mind don't you ever pray for twins. Twins amount to a permanent riot; and there ain't any real difference between triplets and a insurrection. - The Babies speech 1879

We never knew an ignorant person yet but was prejudiced.

To be satisfied with what one has; that is wealth.

The law is a system that protects everybody who can afford to hire a good lawyer.

If one is honest there is no need to remember.

English humor is hard to appreciate, though, unless you are trained to it. The English papers, in reporting my speeches, always put 'laughter' in the wrong place.