It would not be possible for Noah to do in our day what he was permitted to do in his own ... The inspector would come and examine the Ark, and make all sorts of objections.

No sinner is ever saved after the first twenty minutes of a sermon.

Never have a battle of wits with an unarmed person.

The difference between a Miracle and a Fact is exactly the difference between a mermaid and a seal.

He gossips habitually; he lacks the common wisdom to keep still that deadly enemy of man, his own tongue.

I don't want no better book than what your face is.

Humor is the good natured side of a truth.