Ignorant people think it is the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain't so; it is the sickening grammar that they use.

A mine is a hole in the ground with a liar on top.

It liberates the vandal to travel-you never saw a bigoted, opinionated, stubborn, narrow-minded, self-conceited, almighty mean man in your life but he had stuck in one place since he was born and thought God made the world and dyspepsia and bile for his especial comfort and satisfaction.

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat.

It’s not the good that die young, it’s the lucky.

As a rule we develop a borrowed European idea forward, and ... Europe develops a borrowed American idea backwards.

The jury system puts a ban upon intelligence and honesty and a premium upon ignorance, stupidity and perjury.