Doesn't make any difference who we are or what we are, there's always somebody to look down on.

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.

The way it is now, the asylums can hold the sane people, but if we tried to shut up the insane we should run out of building materials.

We were surprised how closely the cuckoo imitated the clock-and yet, of course, it could never have heard a clock.

A gentleman is someone who knows how to play the banjo and doesn't.

I cherish the dreams of yesterday and dare not dwell on the err's of my past whose fate has been long decided, and effect I can not change. For the dreams of yesterday are the challenges of today, and the hope for tomorrow.

Let your secret sympathies and your compassion be always with the under dog in the fight -- this is magnanimity; but bet on the other one -- this is business.