If people just asked: "Here are the needs of both sides, here are the resources. What can be done to meet these needs?" the conflict would be easy to resolve.

A second even more obvious sign is that the person will stop talking. If we are uncertain as to whether we have stayed long enough in the process, we can always ask, "Is there more that you wanted to say"?

Punishment is the root of violence on our planet.

Anger, depression, guilt, and shame are the product of the thinking that is at the base of violence on our planet.

We need empathy to give empathy.

The key to fostering connection in the face of a 'no' is always hearing 'yes' to something else.

I wouldn't expect someone who's been injured to hear my side until they felt that I had fully understood the depth of their pain.