Never connect yourself with the other person's pain. Just hear their need. Leave yourself out of the other person's feelings and needs.

The most important use of NVC may be in developing self-compassion.

Fix-it jackals can't wait to fix it, because they don't know how to enjoy pain. And until you learn how to enjoy pain, you can't enjoy intimacy.

My need is for safety, fun and to have distribution of resources, a sustainable life on the planet. NVC is a strategy that serves me to meet these needs.

NVC suggests behind every action, however ineffective, tragic, violent, or abhorrent to us, is an attempt to meet a need.

With empathy, I'm fully with them, not full of them — that's sympathy.

When people hear needs, it provokes compassion. When people hear diagnoses, it provokes defensiveness and attack.