Regardless of our many differences, we all have the same needs. What differs is the strategy for fulfilling these needs.

Instead of playing the game "Making Life Wonderful", we often play the game called "Who's Right". Do you know that game? It's a game where everybody loses.

When I recognize I've got anger, then I realize it's because I have a need that's not being met.

In NVC, no matter what words others may use to express themselves, we simply listen for their observations, feelings, needs, and requests.

This objective of getting what we want from other people-or getting them to do what we want them to do-threatens the autonomy of people, their right to choose what they want to do. And whenever people feel that they're not free to choose what they want to do, they are likely to resist, even if they see the purpose in what we are asking and would ordinarily want to do it.

When it comes to giving advice, never do so unless you've first received a request in writing, signed by a lawyer.

We are never angry because of what others say or do. It is our thinking that makes us angry.