Expressing our vulnerability can help resolve conflicts.

NVC is a reminder; to focus our attention where we are most likely to get our needs met.

Every criticism, judgment, diagnosis, and expression of anger is the tragic expression of an unmet need.

When we hear the other person's feelings and needs, we recognize our common humanity.

We do not look for compromise; rather, we seek to resolve the conflict to everyone's complete satisfaction.

To do this, you can bring in nothing from the past. So the more psychology you've studied, the harder it will be to empathize. The more you know the person, the harder it will be to empathize. Diagnoses and past experiences can instantly knock you off the board. This doesn't mean denying the past. Past experiences can stimulate what's alive in this moment. But are you present to what was alive then or what the person is feeling and needing in this moment?

When we express our needs indirectly through the use of evaluations, interpretations, and images, others are likely to hear criticism. When people hear anything that sounds like criticism, they tend to invest their energy in self-defense or counterattack. It's important that when we address somebody that we're clear what we want back.