I wouldn't expect someone who's been injured to hear my side until they felt that I had fully understood the depth of their pain.

In these long-standing conflicts, I find that most cases it gets resolved in about twenty minutes after each side can tell me the needs of the other.

When I am angry I have a judgment and an unmet need.

By maintaining our attention on what's going on within others, we offer them a chance to fully explore and express their interior selves. We would stem this flow if we were to shift attention too quickly either to their request or to our own desire to express ourselves.

Time and again, people transcend the paralyzing effects of psychological pain when they have sufficient contact with someone who can hear them empathically.

Ask before offering advice or reassurance.

Compliments and praise, for their part, are tragic expressions of fulfilled needs