The Chinese philosopher Chuang-Tzu stated that true empathy requires listening with the whole being: The hearing that is only in the ears is one thing. The hearing of the understanding is another. But the hearing of the spirit is not limited to any one faculty, to the ear, or to the mind. Hence it demands the emptiness of all the faculties. And when the faculties are empty, then the whole being listens. There is then a direct grasp of what is right there before you that can never be heard with the ear or understood with the mind.

Criticism, analysis, and insults are tragic expressions of unmet needs.

You can't make your kids do anything. All you can do is make them wish they had. And then, they will make you wish you hadn't made them wish they had.

The key to fostering connection in the face of a 'no' is always hearing 'yes' to something else.

My ultimate goal is to spend as many of my moments in life as I can in that world that the poet Rumi talks about, 'a place beyond rightness and wrongness.

Anger is a signal that you're distracted by judgmental or punitive thinking, and that some precious need of yours is being ignored.

NVC is a reminder; to focus our attention where we are most likely to get our needs met.