In nonviolent communication, no matter what words others may use to express themselves, we simply listen for their observations, feelings, needs, and requests. Then we may wish to reflect back, paraphrasing what we have understood. We stay with empathy, allowing others the opportunity to fully express themselves before we turn our attention to solutions or requests for relief.

A respectful understanding of another's experience.

All moralistic judgments, whether positive or negative, are tragic expressions of unmet needs.

When people hear needs, it provokes compassion.

In NVC, no matter what words others may use to express themselves, we simply listen for their observations, feelings, needs, and requests.

Every moment each human being is doing the best we know at that moment to meet our needs. We never do anything that is not in the service of a need, there is no conflict on our planet at the level of needs. We all have the same needs. The problem is in strategies for meeting the needs.

Focusing on the unmet need (not the judgment) is more likely to get the need met.