Punishment also includes judgmental labeling and the withholding of privileges.

The number one reason that we don't get our needs met, we don't express them. We express judgments. If we do express needs, the number two reasons we don't our needs met, we don't make clear requests.

When we are depressed, our thinking blocks us from being aware of our needs, and then being able to take action to meet our needs.

Remember that whatever anyone does, it is an effort to meet a need.

Clinical training in psychoanalysis has a deficit. It teaches how to sit and think about what a person is saying and how to interpret it intellectually, but not how to be fully present to this person.

It's never what people do that makes us angry; it's what we tell ourselves about what they did.

As soon as you say, "are you feeling X because I ..." Then the Jackal starts to salivate because he can educate the person that he's the cause of his pain.