By maintaining our attention on what's going on within others, we offer them a chance to fully explore and express their interior selves. We would stem this flow if we were to shift attention too quickly either to their request or to our own desire to express ourselves.

They have most likely said it because they have an unmet need.

In these long-standing conflicts, I find that most cases it gets resolved in about twenty minutes after each side can tell me the needs of the other.

Anger is a signal that you're distracted by judgmental or punitive thinking, and that some precious need of yours is being ignored.

Praise and reward create a system of extrinsic motivations for behavior. Children (and adults) end up taking action in order to receive the praise or rewards.

We are this divine energy. It's not something we have to attain. We just have to realize it, to be present to it.

When I am angry I have a judgment and an unmet need.