With every choice you make, be conscious of what need it serves.

As we learn to speak from the heart we are changing the habits of a lifetime.

Never hear what somebody thinks about you, you'll live longer. Hear that they're in pain. Don't hear their analysis.

When we hear the other person's feelings and needs, we recognize our common humanity.

Anger is a signal that you're distracted by judgmental or punitive thinking, and that some precious need of yours is being ignored.

Empathizing with someone's 'no' protects us from taking it personally.

Focusing on the unmet need (not the judgment) is more likely to get the need met.