Translate all self-judgments into self-empathy.
We need empathy to give empathy.
Behind intimidating messages are simply people appealing to us to meet their needs.
You'll find people less threatening if you hear what they're needing rather than what they're thinking about you.
Remember that whatever anyone does, it is an effort to meet a need.
My anger tells me firstly that there's a need of mine that's not getting met.