Two questions help us see why we are unlikely to get what we want by using punishment... The first question is: What do I want this person to do that's different from what he or she is currently doing? If we ask only this first question, punishment may seem effective because the threat or exercise of punitive force may well influence the person's behavior. However, with the second question, it becomes evident that punishment isn't likely to work: What do I want this person's reasons to be for doing what I'm asking?

Punishment also includes judgmental labeling and the withholding of privileges.

When it comes to giving advice, never do so unless you've first received a request in writing, signed by a lawyer.

We can't win at somebody else's expense. We can only fully be satisfied when the other person's needs are fulfilled as well as our own.

The spirituality that we need to develop for social change is one that mobilizes us for social change.

If we wish to express anger fully, the first step is to divorce the other person from any responsibility for our anger.

The more we talk about the past, the less we heal from it.