You'll find people less threatening if you hear what they're needing rather than what they're thinking about you.

This language is from the head. It is a way of mentally classifying people into varying shades of good and bad, right and wrong. Ultimately, it provokes defensiveness, resistance, and counterattack. It is a language of demands.

To do this, you can bring in nothing from the past. So the more psychology you've studied, the harder it will be to empathize. The more you know the person, the harder it will be to empathize. Diagnoses and past experiences can instantly knock you off the board. This doesn't mean denying the past. Past experiences can stimulate what's alive in this moment. But are you present to what was alive then or what the person is feeling and needing in this moment?

Ask before offering advice or reassurance.

When our communication supports compassionate giving and receiving, happiness replaces violence and grieving.

The key to fostering connection in the face of a 'no' is always hearing 'yes' to something else.

We do not look for compromise; rather, we seek to resolve the conflict to everyone's complete satisfaction.