I believe that the most joyful and intrinsic motivation human beings have for taking any action is the desire to meet our needs and the needs of others.

We never really know what we want until after we get it. If after we get it, it makes life more miserable, we know that isn't what we wanted. If it makes our life wonderful, we know this is a strategy which will meet out need. That's why Paul Tillich, the theologian says we need to sin courageously. You ask for what you want, hoping to meet your needs. If you get it and it makes life worse, you learn that this isn't what I want.

When we listen for feelings and needs - we can see that people who seem like monsters are simply human beings whose language and behavior sometimes keep us from seeing their humanness.

Fear of corporal punishment obscures children's awareness of the compassion underlying the parent's demands.

Empathy lies in our ability to be present without opinion.

Violence in any form is a tragic expression of our unmet needs.

If we become skilled in giving ourselves empathy, we often experience in just a few seconds a natural release of energy which then enables us to be present with the other person. If this fails to happen, however, we have a couple of other choices.