Interpretations, criticisms, diagnoses, and judgments of others are actually alienated expressions of our unmet needs.

The intention behind the protective use of force is to prevent injury, never to punish or to cause individuals to suffer, repent or change.

We never really know what we want until after we get it. If after we get it, it makes life more miserable, we know that isn't what we wanted. If it makes our life wonderful, we know this is a strategy which will meet out need. That's why Paul Tillich, the theologian says we need to sin courageously. You ask for what you want, hoping to meet your needs. If you get it and it makes life worse, you learn that this isn't what I want.

Whether I praise or criticize someone's action, I imply that I am their judge, that I'm engaged in rating them or what they have done.

Analyses of others are actually expressions of our own needs and values

Have you ever been surfing? Imagine you're on your surfboard now, waiting for the big one to come. Get ready to get carried with that energy. Now, here it comes. That's empathy. No words - just being with that energy. When I connect with what's alive in another person, I have feelings similar to when I'm surfing.

The more we use words that in any way imply criticism, the more difficult it is for people to stay connected to the beauty within themselves.