NVC suggests behind every action, however ineffective, tragic, violent, or abhorrent to us, is an attempt to meet a need.

You'll find people less threatening if you hear what they're needing rather than what they're thinking about you.

If you think ahead to what to say next - like how to fix it or make the person feel better - BOOM! Off the board. You're into the future. Empathy requires staying with the energy that's here right now. Not using any technique. Just being present. When I have really connected to this energy, it's like I wasn't there. I call this "watching the magic show". In this presence, a very precious energy works through us that can heal anything, and this relieves me from my "fix-it" tendencies.

Empathy before education.

Don't get addicted to your requests. Your objective is needs, not requests. Because then it becomes a demand.

Conventional compliments often take the form of judgments however positive, and are sometimes offered to manipulate the behavior of others. NVC encourages the expression of appreciation solely for celebration.

We know the speaker has received adequate empathy when a. we sense a release of tension, or b. the flow of words comes to a halt.