All moralistic judgments, whether positive or negative, are tragic expressions of unmet needs.
At the core of all anger is a need that is not being fulfilled.
Judgments of others contribute to self-fulfilling prophecies.
They have most likely said it because they have an unmet need.
An important aspect of self-compassion is to be able to empathically hold both parts of ourselves-the self that regrets a past action and the self that took the action in the first place.
When we fear punishment, we focus on consequences, not on our own values.