To practice the process of conflict resolution, we must completely abandon the goal of getting people to do what we want.

Labeling and diagnosis is a catastrophic way to communicate. Telling other people what's wrong with them greatly reduces, almost to zero, the probability that we're going to get what we're after.

This objective of getting what we want from other people-or getting them to do what we want them to do-threatens the autonomy of people, their right to choose what they want to do. And whenever people feel that they're not free to choose what they want to do, they are likely to resist, even if they see the purpose in what we are asking and would ordinarily want to do it.

Criticism, analysis, and insults are tragic expressions of unmet needs.

Also, think about your intentionality - are you getting lost in the method? or coming from the intentionality, the purpose? You don't want to do the mechanics without the consciousness.

Never hear what somebody thinks about you, you'll live longer. Hear that they're in pain. Don't hear their analysis.

NVC is founded on language and communication skills that strengthen our ability to remain human, even under trying conditions.