When we express our needs indirectly through the use of evaluations, interpretations, and images, others are likely to hear criticism. When people hear anything that sounds like criticism, they tend to invest their energy in self-defense or counterattack. It's important that when we address somebody that we're clear what we want back.

Our goal is to create a quality of empathic connection that allows everyone's needs to be met.

Blaming and punishing others are superficial expressions of anger.

Avoid 'shoulding' on others and yourself!

NVC self-forgiveness: connecting with the need we were trying to meet when we took the action that we now regret.

NO is always a YES to something else.

We are compassionate with ourselves when we are able to embrace all parts of ourselves and recognize the needs and values expressed by each part.