When we express our needs indirectly through the use of evaluations, interpretations, and images, others are likely to hear criticism. When people hear anything that sounds like criticism, they tend to invest their energy in self-defense or counterattack. It's important that when we address somebody that we're clear what we want back.

Postpone result/solution thinking until later; it's through connection that solutions materialize - empathy before education.

Anger tells us we've disconnected from life. The purpose in anger is to use it to come back to life.

We need empathy to give empathy. When we sense ourselves being defensive or unable to empathize, we need to (a) stop, breathe, give ourselves empathy, (b) scream nonviolently, or (c) take time out.

The intention behind the protective use of force is to prevent injury, never to punish or to cause individuals to suffer, repent or change.

Expressing our vulnerability can help resolve conflicts.

Instead of playing the game "Making Life Wonderful", we often play the game called "Who's Right". Do you know that game? It's a game where everybody loses.