In NVC, no matter what words others may use to express themselves, we simply listen for their observations, feelings, needs, and requests.

Translate all self-judgments into self-empathy.

The only time a message (label) can scare us is if we think there is such a thing, and that such a thing is a disgrace.

With empathy, I'm fully with them, not full of them — that's sympathy.

We can't win at somebody else's expense. We can only fully be satisfied when the other person's needs are fulfilled as well as our own.

If we become skilled in giving ourselves empathy, we often experience in just a few seconds a natural release of energy which then enables us to be present with the other person. If this fails to happen, however, we have a couple of other choices.

NVC is interested in learning that is motivated by reverence for life, by a desire to learn skills, to contribute better to our own well-being and the well-being of others.