Every criticism, judgment, diagnosis, and expression of anger is the tragic expression of an unmet need.

If we don't tell people about our needs, it is much less likely they will be met.

We need empathy to give empathy.

If people just asked: "Here are the needs of both sides, here are the resources. What can be done to meet these needs?" the conflict would be easy to resolve.

In NVC, no matter what words others may use to express themselves, we simply listen for their observations, feelings, needs, and requests.

Please do as I requested, only if you can do so with the joy of a little child feeding a hungry duck. Please do not do as I request if there is any taint of fear of punishment if you don't. Please do not do as I request to buy my love, that, is hoping that I will love you more if you do. Please do not do as I request if you will feel guilty if you don't. Please do not do as I request if you will feel shameful. And certainly do not do as I request out of any sense of duty or obligation.

They have most likely said it because they have an unmet need.