Every criticism, judgment, diagnosis, and expression of anger is the tragic expression of an unmet need.

If I'm using Nonviolent Communication I never, never, never hear what somebody thinks about me. Never hear what somebody thinks about you, you'll live longer. You'll enjoy life more. Hear the truth. The truth is that when somebody's telling you what's wrong with you, the truth is they have a need that isn't getting met. Hear that they're in pain. Don't hear the analysis.

Intellectual understanding blocks empathy.

The punitive use of force tends to generate hostility and to reinforce resistance to the very behavior we are seeking.

The objective of Nonviolent Communication is not to change people and their behavior in order to get our way: it is to establish relationships based on honesty and empathy, which will eventually fulfill everyone's needs.

Always listen to what people need rather than what they are thinking about us.

Ask before offering advice or reassurance.